Bemused and Befuddled

What good does a pair of glasses with only one ear piece do? I had the opportunity to find out and ask the boy using the computer next to me in the library. Alas I did not. I remain confused.

What is so appealing about anything that's less than good for you?

What question could possibly need to be answered so urgently to hold the whole class up and make them late I could not say, especially if I quit listening.

I wonder if all missing socks are stashed away with Waldo and Carmen Sandiego.

What on earth is so distracting in the bathroom that it remains occupied for so long at the exact moment I need it the most?

Why there are handicapped parking spots at Gold's gym is beyond me.

How is it possible to have no idea what you're doing, yet still manage to do it?

I can't comprehend how listening to your iPod/car radio for your neighbor 10 blocks away to hear is worth the resulting repercussions of blowing out your cochlea and ruining your hearing for the rest of your life.

I'm not so sure how the next few years are going to pan out so much.

Where is the black abyss of my computer where it hides 25 page study guides and other important documents that were saved 176 times over?

Feel free to shed any degree of light on any of the above topics.

Near Dilemma

Perfect cure for nervous energy: a nice run on a nice day. Tired and coming back sooner than later. Attempt-to-walk-through-front-door-result: walking into front door as door unyieldingly resists push. That's me. Yup. Unbeknownst to me...locked. Hm. Side door I purposefully unlocked? Attempted. Indeed locked as well. Oh dear. Remain calm. Ring door bell. Anybody actually home? Nope. Not a soul. Bang on door and yell. Still no soul decides to emerge. Keys? On my bed. Which is in room. Which is in house. Which is locked. Phone to call somebody? With keys. In my room. In locked house. Does no good. Other options? Pester neighbors to let me use their phones to call roommate with key. Just kidding. Don't know phone numbers. New idea: sit on front steps and wait for somebody to come home. Bleh. Boring and lame. Time is of essence. Must be another way. Windows! Brilliant...hopefully. Window #1: locked. Window #2: unlocked. Slides open upon resistance. Eagerness and delight swell. Next step: through the window. Just barely too high for accomplishment. Hmph. Cinder block? Maybe, but what else. Wander around exterior of house in search for much needed booster. Bike, not stable enough. Big huge would-be-helpful bin, but full of junk. Rock climbing shoes! Don't exist on these premises. No good. Quick break for an allergy sneeze attack. Carrying on. Wait. What? Could it be so simple? A little ladder? Indeed! Drag to window. Climb up. Shove over sized body into said little window. Slightly scrape back in the process. Avoid falling on roommate's bed with dirty shoes and sweaty body. Quick fist pump of celebration. Penetration of locked house: Complete.