These here crystal orbs are in actuality my contacts. Or were. I guess they still are, but they're not very functional anymore seeing as the one on the right has been hacked away at, missing large and slightly important chunks from the outer edge, sliced up like a slashed tire, and scratching gouges out of my eyeball. And also because they're now shriveled up in the basement of my trash can.
I can assure you, I have not razors on the inside of my eyelid, or mysterious bugs that thrive only on the shredding of contact lenses that live in my contact case, or little tiny men with little tiny scissors and favorite past times involving cutting edges off thin clear filaments inhabiting my house. I guess I can't tell you with 100% confidence, but I'm pretty sure I don't sleep walk into the bathroom with an exacto knife to carve away at the only thing that allows me to see with any kind of clarity, and I'd like to say I have good friends that generally don't sabotage my possessions that make my life more functional whilst I slumber. I'm pretty sure I blink like a normal person without any head banging or eyeball poking, and I have not been involved in any sort of eye karate chopping, razor blade throwing, or knife juggling action. Having all these accounted for, how else on earth does this possibly happen?
Aliens. Extra-terrestrials. It's the only explanation.
2 comments:
I believe you; however, have you interviewed your eyes, independently? asked Papa Beaver with a slight Irish brogue and a hint of mint in the air.....
You must be starving your body thus your eye ball becomes a stomach and eats it during the day!
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