Q: How many females does it take to build a fire?
1 shivering body. 1 thought to build a fire in the fireplace. 30 minutes of pure sweat and gruel. 30 minutes of defeat. 30 minutes of unsuccessful fire building. 18 graded papers added to the coals. 3 minutes of flame until the papers and cardboard shrivel up and die. 5 minutes of scrounging around the house for more scrap paper and cardboard, and 6 cereal and granola bar boxes taken from cupboards followed by 3 more minutes of misleading flame. 2 girls raised hopes, and 2 girls valiant attempts. 120 minutes of movie watching after failure is admitted, and 2 blankets and 1 sweatshirt extracted to maintain warmth. 10 minutes of lounging on the couch after the movie finishes, and then approximately 1/2 second of spontaneous bursting of flame. 2 very surprised faces. X amount of time of steady fire until we decide to put it out and go to bed. 2 warmed bodies, and 2 happy hearts. 1 Christmas miracle.
A: 0, just some Christmas love.
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